So the day before yesterday, I posted a poem that spoke to me. I opened a poetry book at random and found a beautiful piece that reflected how I feel about my relationship with God and which seemed appropriate to the feast of Pentecost. One of the lines in the poem “You provide the tenderness, I, five loaves and two fishes” particularly made me smile because, only a few weeks ago, someone told me the story of how they realised what God was asking them to do with their life, and that it was the Parable of the Loaves and Fishes that sparked that realisation.
I decided to send the poem to them and, as I was typing it out, I thought about how much the sharing of their story had influenced me. It encouraged me to reflect on all the natural interests, skills and gifts that I’ve been given and to question whether I was using them to their full extent…not just for my benefit…but in a way that could benefit others too. And I realised that the answer was “No”.
Yes, I was doing practical tasks that others appreciated, commented on, and thanked me for, but there was very little I was doing that tapped into any feeling of passion within me. or that gave me a real sense of achievement, accomplishment and joy. And that reflection had a profound effect on me, because it changed what I was doing. It gave me the courage to tackle some things that had been bothering me but had said nothing about (“not really my concern” I thought), and the result was a feeling of motivation, fulfilment and resurgence of a physical energy that I haven’t felt in years. It also produced a practical outcome, in very little time, that’s been helpful and encouraging to others.
Thinking that over, I decided to share the poem more widely, in the hope that it might spark something in someone else and, entering this Blog site, was surprised to see that nearly 4 months have passed since I last posted anything…and that the title of my last post was Hidden Talents. And so we get to the title of this post…
Each year, when I renew this website’s subscription and pay the fee to maintain it, I tell myself “This year, I’ll post more things and more regularly” and then daily life just seems to get in the way. “The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions” they say…and I agree. Not because I believe in an ultimate Judgement Day, when our souls may be cast down into a fire of eternal damnation for not having done enough good things for our neighbour (I have no belief in that whatsoever). But I do believe, through my own pesonal experience, that when we fail to care for ourselves; to care about the passions and the gifts that we’ve been given; to care about the people and the environment that surrounds us (both in relationship and natural terms) we experience a kind of Hell that feels like an emptiness, a meaninglessness, a sense of depression and despair that can become like a living and endless Hell-like torture in our day-to-day lives. “Lives of quiet desperation” as Henry David Thoreau referred to them.
I listened to a couple of sermons yesterday that talked about the energy of Life…the Spirit of Life…this Holy and Divine Spirit, that every single one of us carries inside, but each in a different and unique way. The Christian Church identifies 7 specific Gifts of The Spirit, but I’m sure there are many more. Just as I feel sure that every religion that honours and holds sacred this eternally-renewing, Life-giving Spirit, probably speaks of it, in their own particularly cultural and historical way. These details of religious theology don’t actually feel that important to me…Matters of the Mind, as I think of them…but Matters of the Heart matter a great deal to me. In fact I feel passionate about them because, as The Bible tells us:
“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also“
And one of the things I feel truly passionate about, to the core of my heart and soul, is trying to encourage people to have faith in their own inherent goodness and true worth, and to do all they can to connect to the presence of this Life-giving, Life-enhancing Holy Spirit that dwells within. It’s a life-long task, it’s our individual responsibility and it’s one that requires regular, conscious and positive intention, reflection and action. It also demands courage, to say and do what might make us unpopular, as we stand up to the Hungry Ghosts (as Thich Nhat Hanh calls them) within ourselves and within those around us. Because, if we don’t…if we allow them to ridicule us, to dominate us, to deny and deflate this noble and worthy Spirit that lives within us, I believe we’re actually choosing a life and a way of living that becomes like a slow and painful Road to Hell.
Several years ago, I read an interesting book called “Outwitting the Devil” by Napoleon Hill and, of all the ideas that it contains, the one that has stayed with me is the concept of Hypnotic Rhythm. How we fall into…are lulled into…a hypnotic way of acting, thinking, living and being that sucks the Spirit of Life (and all the joys, gifts and fulfilment it brings with it) out of us. Those habits that stifle rather than encourage our sense of being truly worthy and alive. And how we hardly notice it’s happening, until we’re left with an incredible sense of anger, sadness, or emptiness one day…and we don’t know why.
We were all gifted with incredible talents by the Spirit at the moment of our conception. They were given to us both for ourselves and to share with others, to keep and spread that Universal, positive, Life-inspiring Spirit alive and visible within this world. And it’s not a Spirit that asks great things of us. It says simply “Bring what you have, bring your five loaves and two fishes, don’t worry if they’ll be acceptable to others, don’t worry if they’ll be enough…but bring them, don’t leave them hidden away at home…just bring them, and trust that I will do the rest.”
La Casa de Paz 